Designing a aggregation logo should be easy, shouldn’t it? Draw the animal, absolute boxy guy, profession or commodity that represents the team. Add a letter or attribute to represent the region: a D for Detroit, an accomplished for St. Louis, a brilliant for Texas or brilliant colors for Florida. Frame it in a circle, cap or football shape, and it’s accessible to be printed on a actor pennants and T-shirts.

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Yet somehow, logos go wrong. Absolute wrong. Aboriginal logos had no predecessors to draw from and can attending camp and antic to avant-garde eyes. Recent logos are so anxiously crafted by business gurus that they can attending like stock-market symbols. In the decades in between, teams acquire proudly displayed emblems that were silly, ugly, cheaply produced and ailing drawn. For every iconic Cowboys brilliant or Yankees bat-and-top-hat, there acquire been hundreds of logos that arise to acquire been scribbled on a cocktail napkin by the aggregation owner’s mistress, or cobbled calm by the best accord art academy alum that Apple Hockey Association money could afford.

Let’s booty a bout of the crazy corners and camp trends in logo history. We will leave colleges, the baseball accessory leagues, and all-embracing teams alone — if some boondocks of 15,000 wants to name its aggregation the “Anthracite Ferrets,” who are we to judge? — and we will stick to the “major” leagues in best cases. From sloppiness to political barbarism to absolute lunacy, we acquire a all-inclusive palette to acquire from.

(Chris Creamer’s SportsLogos.net, an online building of bags of logos, uniforms, brand and added promotional materials, was an capital ability for this article, and unless contrarily acclaimed is accustomed with anniversary of these logos.)

Logos from the aboriginal canicule of sports are artlessly activity to attending camp to avant-garde eyes, like bashful films or Model T Fords. At the aforementioned time, bodies were animation astute animals on cavern ceilings 20,000 years ago, so we should apprehend aboriginal 20th aeon artists to at atomic be able to cede a astute attractive elephant.

Doing It Right: Detroit Red Wings, NHL, 1930s

The Red Wings logo dates from 1932, the affection of the Great Depression and an era aback best above alliance baseball teams were still grappling with the challenges of clear Gothic letters. You acquire air-conditioned wings, a caster to represent Detroit, alarming spokes, and a simple, active blush scheme. Done! Eighty years later, all the aggregation has had to do is abuse the annoy a little.

Now, analysis out the Maple Leafs from almost the aforementioned era and 230 afar away:

Toronto Maple Leafs, NHL, 1920s

There’s a maple timberline appropriate alfresco my office, so I apperceive what a maple blade looks like. Your archetypal Canadian in the 1920s no agnosticism knew what a maple blade looks like. That doesn’t attending like a maple leaf. If I see a blade like this on my advanced lawn, I may alarm the DEA or some academy buddies over for a Scooby Doo marathon, but I don’t try to tap a block to accomplish syrup.

Philadelphia Athletics, MLB, 1920

The archaic bodies who corrective the beam of the Lascaux cavern created lifelike, active images of behemothic mammals, alive in near-total atramentous and application accoutrement so awkward that they may acquire been spitting acrylic through a alveolate bulb axis assimilate rock. Armed with 20th aeon technology and the assets of the best accepted sports aggregation in one of America’s bigger cities, the Philadelphia Athletics doodled a fluctuant dejected albatross that would not attending out of abode in a kindergarten art fair, except that OH MY GOD THERE ARE FIVE APPENDAGES HANGING BENEATH THE ELEPHANT AND ONLY FOUR CAN BE LEGS WHICH MEANS THE FIFTH OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD.

Chicago Cubs, MLB, 1908

It was a atramentous day in the Hundred Acre Wood aback Pooh-Bear accomplished that he had brought abashment aloft his ancestors of beastly friends. “Silly old bear,” Christopher Robin said, “I achievement you will do the atonement thing.” “Oh bother,” Pooh-Bear replied, “I charge accomplish Seppuku.” Casting his honeypot aside, the ample accommodation plunged a katana into his belly. Fluff gushed out like a fountain, accoutrement the dupe in a down-covered band of stuffing. “Way to go out like a man, Buddy Bear, woo-hoo-hoo!” Tigger said, and they all strolled off to Rabbit’s abode for tea.

Animal logos are the hardest ones to spiral up. If you cannot draw a aboveboard buck or tiger, you will apparently not be asked to architecture a aggregation logo afterwards inferior aerial school. Still, it’s amazing how abounding teams overthink the activity of slapping a helmet or a hockey stick on a lion, horse, or hawk.

Doing It Right: St. Louis Cardinals, MLB, 1920s

There are dozens of examples of ambrosial beastly emblems, but the National Alliance champs accepted how accessible it was in the 1920s. Again, this was an era aback the crosstown Browns could not accomplish clear brand on a cap. Yet the Cardinals advised a handsome logo which, with a few tweaks, is a asleep ringer for the one we saw on Carlos Beltran’s chest in the Apple Series.

It helps that cardinals are aesthetically bulletproof: from these aboriginal birds to Margaret from Regular Show, they are consistently admirable and accessible to render. Of course, tigers are admirable and accessible to draw, too, so how did this happen?

Cincinnati Bengals, AFL, backward 1960s

When you anticipate of boscage bodies and acknowledged NFL franchises, you no agnosticism anticipate atrophied creatures beat in terror. Off-brand, not-so-greeeat Tony actuality was affected to abrasion a helmet with his affinity on it which was at atomic four sizes too small, appropriately the panic. It is adamantine to acquaint if the helmet tiger is additionally fleeing, with a little helmet aerial off which additionally contains a beat tiger and tinier helmet, ad infinitum. The Bengals gave up and stenciled their aggregation name beyond their helmets for ten years afterwards this, and it was a desperate improvement.

Detroit Tigers, MLB, backward 1920s

My God, I acquire eaten Charlie Gehringer!

It’s OK… I will aloof adumbrate the anatomy up in a tree. Aggregate is activity to be fine. Aloof fine.

Denver Broncos, AFL, 1960s

This adumbration appears to acquire been fatigued by accession who has never apparent a human, a horse, or a beastly benumbed a horse. The aureate retriever-sized horse blithely bucks the tiny-headed football amateur as avengement for digging cleats into his back, but as the player’s wrists are thicker than his biceps, any anatomical accident inflicted by the abatement will apparently be an improvement.

Buffalo Bills, AFL, 1960s

“Hey, I’m actuality for convenance and… what’s that? You say you are demography a account of a addle for the aggregation logo? I will aloof angular out of your way. What’s that? You say I am aptitude into your way? Well, this is the alone way I can angular because my amateur are anchored to my torso.” By the way, the cardinal 31 does not represent any specific player. For years, it was a retired cardinal that represented “the spirit of the Bills,” but nowadays Jarius Byrd gets to abrasion it. The Bills are weird.

Dallas Chaparrals, ABA, 1960s

This little guy is rather beautiful for a two-minute pencil-and-crayon doodle. Unfortunately, he was the absolute adumbration for a basketball aggregation no one remembers. “Chaparral” is an ecological appellation for sagebrush country. If you appetite bodies to arise watch your team, don’t name them afterwards a characterless wilderness.

It should not be too adamantine to cede a fun, menacing, semi-realistic angel of a real-life actuality like a charlatan or Viking on a aggregation logo. But abounding teams fabricated it far harder than it had to be. Either they got too beautiful with the cartoonish elements, too bargain and awkward with the draftsmanship, or aloof too awe-inspiring with the material, but somehow they took a simple accountable and fabricated it baffling, ridiculous, or accidentally hilarious.

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Doing it Right: Pittsburgh Pirates, MLB, 1970s/1980s

This guy is the absolute pirate: boxy but dashing. The hat and application leave no agnosticism about his profession, and the decrepit capital affiche aftereffect is both a beautiful framing accessory and a admonition that this guy is bad news. The Pirates acquire about had acceptable logo aftertaste — the accepted charlatan is boxy afterwards overselling it, while antecedent logos showed added of a arch sea captain — but they got it absolutely amiss with the above-mentioned guy…

Pittsburgh Pirates, MLB, 1960s

That’s not a pirate. That’s some dude from accounts receivable who got too bashed at the appointment Halloween affair while dressed as a pirate. That attending on his face shows that he has aloof been served with beastly aggravation paperwork.

Still, our jowly, barbate acquaintance has annihilation on these extraordinary logos.

San Diego Conquistadors, ABA, 1960s 

The aboriginal bodies of Central America saw the conquistadors as appalling warrior gods because of their different-sized hands: a diminutive tiny one for poleax brandishing and an astronomic one for palming a basketball. Also, aback the account establishes that beastly active are fabricated from ABA basketballs, Stabbie actuality may be crossover-dribbling a beastly skull, which sounds historically accurate. Aggregate about this ornery little back-bite is a treasure: the batty detail on his armor, the abrupt rage, the Gothic script, and the activity curve at the tip of his weapon. Yes, this dude is in the act of cutting accession aback this adumbration was taken.

Denver Nuggets, ABA, 1960s

This poor guy is giving himself a aboveboard lobotomy with a pickaxe while attempting a awkward windmill dunk. Also, he is assuming wayyy too abundant tongue, admitting because the academician accident he is self-inflicting, it is understandable. There is additionally some M.C.Escher optical apparition activity on with his feet, which do not arise to abide in Euclidean space. All in all, it is for the best that this artisan did not attack to adapt a “nugget.”

Washington Senators/Nationals, MLB, backward 1950s

The Founding Fathers all wore tricornered hats to adumbrate their aberrant macrocephaly. Also, they smoked cigars while advance themselves because they were the aboriginal government fat cats. Why they wore two absolutely altered shoes charcoal a mystery.

San Diego Mariners, WHL, 1960s

The conscientious draftsmanship is what takes this adumbration into the bedlam category. The apperception can acquire a animation penguin arena hockey cutting a little scarf, but an anatomically-correct penguin with skates and a stick would aberration us the hell out. Similarly, Captain Tobacco actuality is all amphibian business on top, all puck-handling bottomward below, abrogation us to admiration whether it is a acceptable abstraction for a ship’s captain to be skating about with a adamantine commodity in his mouth.

New Orleans Buccaneers, ABA, 1960s

He alone has one ear. There is a blemish on his anatomy which appears to be either chest beard or congealed, extra amber pudding. His belt catch takes up his accomplished abdomen. For the bend in the animation to work, his appropriate arm charge be eight anxiety longer. Best of all, the chat “”Buccaneers” is agee at an odd bend forth his outline circle, to board his sword, which is its own curiosity of accolade perspective. But at atomic his basketball has “New Orleans” on it, so you apperceive what burghal to abstain if you don’t appetite to see him.

Kentucky Colonels, ABA, 1967

Yes, the ABA is absolutely demography it on the button in this segment. It was a rinky-dink league, but the Colonels were no rinky-dink team: they were one of the league’s best teams for best of its history, and they almost absent the cut during the NBA-ABA merger.

In afterwards years, the Colonels adopted a cool, august K-C logo. But in their aboriginal year, they autonomous to represent themselves with Uncle Si cutting a ablaze blooming compatible while accepting chased by a puppy. The dog is Ziggy, a Brussels Griffon and the ancestors pet of aggregation owners Joe and Mamie Gregory. Ziggy absolutely abounding owners affairs and had a advanced row bench for games, authoritative him like the Reds’ Schotzie in the 1980s or the Cowboys’ Stephen Jones today.

A Brussels Griffon is hardly a applicable dog for an ancient southern “colonel,” and while such a colonel ability absolutely own some admired horses, he would not run about bouncing a ambit in his hand. Throw in the bent uniform, and you acquire what appears to be a acceptable ol’ boy hasty from an outhouse while actuality chased by a down-covered rat. No admiration they absent the alliance cut.

What happens aback your aggregation amulet is an azoic object, like an aeroplane or footwear? The amiss affair to do, in best cases, is to morph the commodity into some affectionate of abhorrent man-thing. Authoritative a animation beastly out of a jet alike or auto genitalia sounds beautiful until you absolutely see the aberrant aberration animated at you from awning of the team’s yearbook.

Doing it Right: Boston Red Sox, MLB, 1970s-2000s

Faced with a aggregation name too acceptable to change but too absent in the 19th aeon to about-face into a activating image, the Apple Champions acquire kept things simple and iconic for best of their history. Their accepted socks-only logo looks naked afterwards the baseball bond and mix of block and Gothic lettering. But the Red Sox apperceive not to booty things too far, because their logo already looked like this:

Boston Red Sox, MLB, 1950s

The affinity amid the beastly bottom and the macho beastly agency was noticed absolute aboriginal in beastly history. So anyone in any era animation an commodity of footwear, again putting a face on the calf, again some legs below the heel, should apparently acquire a acceptable abstraction what it is activity to attending like. At the absolute least, he should abstain dangling an anatomically-dubious amphitheater aloof below those curiously-pointed toes.

Denver Rockets, ABA, 1970s

While we are on the accountable of phallic imagery, a rocket is consistently activity to attending a little Freudian, but accord it arms, legs, and a face and you acquire the being of psychotherapeutic dissertations. Still, a boss amplitude rocket affected to run on beastly legs (and beam bottomward at the basketball while dribbling, like an eight-year old), charge feel appealing impotent.

Milwaukee Brewers, MLB, 1970s

Brewers are absolute people, not objects. But they account aesthetic nightmares because, like consecutive killers, they dress aloof like everybody else. The Brewers approved to break this botheration by creating a slugging keg with a awe-inspiring tap for a face, tiny feet, and a creepily projected bend at the absolute centermost of the composition. Beer brewing had become corporate, industrialized, and alienated from accustomed acquaintance in the 1970s, so it was adamantine to draw a “brewer” admirers could chronicle to. Nowadays, the Brewers could artlessly alter their august acclaim logo with a account of a hipster with no faculty of humor.

Zollner Pistons, NBL, 1950s

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The Z on this guy’s chest stands for Zollner; the aggregation which is now the Detroit Pistons was originally the Zollner Pistons. In accession to authoritative auto parts, the Zollner aggregation dabbled in atramentous abracadabra that accustomed oil cans to levitate, attain beastly form, and dream of arena basketball. Alas, such anthropomorphized collections of atom metal are abhorrent to the eyes of Nature, so Zippy is ashore with a askew appropriate duke and anxiety that jerk alarmingly aback he tries to leap. Zippy looks blessed now, but aback he collapse into a abundance of disenchanted tin, his arch rolling forlornly beyond the amphitheater floor, no one will be laughing.

The Zollner Pistons were not the alone aggregation in the old NBL called afterwards an auto genitalia magnate and his auto parts. The alliance additionally featured the Akron Firestone Non-Skids and Toledo Jim White Chevrolets. It would be as if Shahid Khan renamed the NFL’s Jaguars the Jacksonville Flex-n-Gate Rear Bumpers. But then, maybe he has and no one has noticed yet.

Not continued ago, no one afraid abundant about accoutrements and armament in sports logos. But then, we (please put on your color-enhanced worldview spectacles for the abutting sentence) became a mamby-pamby assistant accompaniment that pandered to the wimps, hippies, and added threats to absolute America.

Became so aware to sports culture’s role in legitimizing abandon in association that we purged above sports leagues of all hints of firearms, at about the exact moment our accouchement alone sports for Grand Theft Auto games.

Either way, it became OK to be a bloodthirsty Viking or abandoned animal, but accoutrements are forbidden. Nowadays, some of those old logos are absolute shocking, admitting abounding added of them are artlessly ridiculous.

Doing it Right: Texas Rangers, MLB, 1980s, and Dallas Cowboys, NFL, 1964-present

You would anticipate that two Texas teams with firearm-themed names would advertise a six-shooter about in their emblems. Alike the best quinoa-gorged East Coast advanced would accept that the gun is a above allotment of cowboy iconography and that the Texas Forester is a duly-appointed law officer. Anyway, Texans are accepted to like their guns.

But the Rangers and Cowboys acquire autonomous for simpler, added allegorical logos throughout their histories. They abstruse the aforementioned assignment little accouchement apprentice aback trick-or-treating: the absolute Hulk does not abrasion a tee-shirt that says “hulk” on it, and a absolute Cowboy or Forester does not abrasion a account of a cowboy or a ranger, but a star, badge, or added attribute of his jurisdiction.

If alone these added teams abstruse the aforementioned lesson:

Baltimore Bullets, NBL, 1940s

Someone attempt the basketball. Which agency they brought the gun to the game. This is why we can’t acquire nice things. Unless I am interpreting things amiss and that is absolutely a badminton shuttlecock, or a awkward apprehension of the phenomenon of conception.

Houston Colt 45’s, MLB, 1960s

It’s a acceptable affair that gun was aloof accursed abnormal afore the logo was taken. Otherwise, that would say “Olt 45’s,” which would be silly. The artisan showed abstemiousness by not axis the decimal point into a atom of blood.

San Francisco 49ers, NFL, 1960s

Early gold miners in California were too poor to allow shovels and axes, so they artlessly approved to shoot the gold from the arena from amid their legs while leaping at a 45 amount angle.

San Antonio Gunslingers, USFL, 1980s

The USFL took a lot of calefaction for its violent-themed aggregation names. But let’s face it, this animation gunfighter makes Yosemite Sam attending dangerous. He is acutely a blackmail to himself, not others: those angular legs and achievement acquire no adventitious of befitting the holster aloft, and with his giant, agee hands, he is assertive to shoot off his own fingers.

Dallas Texans, AFL, 1960s

Look at the admeasurement of that gun, won’t you?

Someone is overcompensating for something.

Perhaps his complete abridgement of a neck.

Dallas Vigilantes, Arena Football, 2010-11

“See, Johnny, this guy was attempt through the temple and died. But he came aback as an angry skeleton out for vengeance, wielding two accoutrements and cutting the aforementioned atramentous hat he wore on the night he was shot. And we came actuality tonight to acclamation on the maniacal crank skeleton guy as he blasts his way to justice. Isn’t this fun? No, I am not demography you home to mom and ‘other daddy;’ this is our weekend. Appetite a hot dog? STOP CRYING.”

If you were cat-and-mouse for a affected bluster about awful, racist, Native American-themed logos of the accomplished and present, well… accumulate waiting. While there acquire been/still are some adverse Indian-themed names in the sports world, the depictions on Native Americans on logos acquire about been admiring and dignified. That arch on the Chicago Blackhawks adumbration looks annihilation like Arch Atramentous Hawk, but he looks like a confident, able leader. And yes, the adolescent on the Redskins helmet would attending abundant bigger by any added name.

Doing it Right: Kansas Burghal Scouts, NHL, 1970s

The Scouts were alone about for a brace of years, but they provided addition archetype of a Native American affair that does not accomplish anyone appetite to adapt a protest. The Scout is not authentic by his race, but his profession, and he and his blue-blooded steed arise to be accomplishing a heckuva job.

Of course, there acquire been adverse moments.

Kansas Burghal Chiefs, AFL, 1960s

This adolescent is absolutely ripped, but aback no one black in his pants, he looks like he is naked except for a loin bolt and an balance of leg hair. He is additionally active AWAY from his home accompaniment of Missouri, an unfortunate, accidental admonition of absolute history.

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Philadelphia Warriors, NBA, 1940s

Leaving political definiteness abreast for a moment, what absolutely is the brawl accomplishing in this logo?

Is our Native American acquaintance retrieving a canyon on two bounces from amid his legs with two hands?

Cleveland Indians, MLB, 1940s

It’s added difficult to avert the Cleveland mascot, and the aggregation is reportedly planning to abbreviate its acceptance in the face of such criticism.

However, aback supporters of the accepted Arch Wahoo say he is a all-inclusive improvement… they ain’t lying.

Guns and Native Americans aside, there are lots of political actual landmines for teams to abstain as they try to be as across-the-board as possible. Sometimes, their logos veer too far into banal inoffensiveness, although for comedy’s sake, it’s best to appraise the logos that do not go far enough.

Doing it Right: New Jersey Devils, NHL, 1982-present

No one wants to be anon affiliated to Satan added than ham canners, hot booze manufacturers, and 80’s metal bands. Technically, New Jersey’s hockey aggregation is called afterwards a bounded legend, a abstruse mini-Yeti who roamed the pinelands bistro livestock. (The fable of the Jersey Devil dates from Colonial times; the aftermost appear analysis of the barbarian was in Hammonton on Tuesday.) Given the best of outraging Ned Flanders with a delineation of the Dark One himself and abstruse all-embracing hockey admirers with some array of animal badger, the Devils went abstract. The august horns and pitchfork can alarm nuns on Seinfeld but no one else, the “NJ” is accessible to read, and there has been no uptick in Satanism in New Jersey aback the acceleration of the Devils.

On the added hand…

Cincinnati Redlegs, MLB, 1950s

Joe McCarthy was a heck of a guy, and for a while it was alarming to be referred to as a “Red” in America, alike if you were Frank Robinson. So the Reds became the Redlegs and approved the atomic suspicious-looking logo they could find… a guy with a baseball head, handlebar moustache, and awful grin. Yep, no way that guy is an adversary of democracy! In fairness, this old-timey Mr. Red looks added like an agitator than a communist, and aback he ditched the facial beard in the 1970s (ironically, aback anybody abroad was growing theirs), he looked appealing cool, alike if he awash his city’s name out of the aggregation emblem.

Miami Hooters, Arena Football, 1990s

Obviously, this could acquire been far worse. Or possibly better. At any rate, this sponsored logo is a time abridged from the era aback the Hooters restaurant was sexy-edgy-controversial, not a sad agriculture pen for middle-aged business travelers aloof off the interstate.

Memphis Maniax, XFL, 2001

While aggregate about the XFL was goofy, its logos were tame. Vince McMahon knows a lot about marketing, so he fabricated some astute choices: the New York/New Jersey Hitmen were represented by a august H, not a tommy-gun-wielding Mafiosa. “Maniax” is tricky, because alarming psychosis is not a fun affair to anticipate about in a accessible place. Perhaps some confusing, blood-soaked slashes (spelling “Ax,” admitting it takes a minute to amount out) are the best we could acquire hoped for. Analysis out the team’s “alternate logo,” for instance. There’s a guy you appetite continuing abaft you in the concessions line.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers, NFL, 1970s

Who can balloon Bruce the Pirate, a holdover from an era aback common America could watch the Village Bodies sing “YMCA” on a array appearance and appreciate none of the subtext? Bruce, times acquire changed, and I am 100% accepting of your lifestyle. UNTIL YOU START WINKING AT ME. WITH A DAGGER IN YOUR TEETH. Whatever you acquire planned tonight, Bruce, calculation me out of it.

Political definiteness is ultimately about inclusiveness, and while altruism is admirable, it aloof does not accomplish acceptable business faculty to accommodate too abundant homoerotic subtext into the logo of an ball adventure that appeals mostly to easily-squicked-out dudes.

Columbus Crew, MLS, present

Homoerotic SUPER-text, on the added hand, is all good.

It has been a heck of a bout of logo history, and we blanket things up with three head-scratchers from the adequate 70s. All three of these logos faced the aforementioned disadvantage: the teams they represented had hard-to-depict nicknames.

Vancouver Canucks, NHL, 1970s

Short of animation Geddy Lee or Bob and Doug McKenzie, it is adamantine to characterize a acceptable “Canuck.” The aggregation has wisely never tried, opting for abstractions instead. But this is a little too abstract, attractive added like the all-embracing attribute for an accessible accessibility access than a motivator to watch hockey. In the future, words and accurate pictures will be replaced by apple-pie curve and blush fields, aliment will be in gel form, and sports will be replaced by accumbent stick-wielding ice activities.

Minnesota Twins, MLB, 1970s

The Twins spent two decades tweaking their logo of Minneapolis and St. Paul, represented by two dudes, afraid easily beyond the Mississippi. By the 70s, the twins looked anachronistically like 1950s animation characters, and the animation became active with capacity like baseball bond (which appears inaccurate) and the STP logo aural the logo. But the affliction allotment of the logo is the grammar of Win! Twins! Shouldn’t it be Twins Win!? Or Win, Twins!? Dotting the I’s with stars AND acceleration bottomward on assertion credibility are signs of a logo aggravating too hard.

Montreal Expos, MLB, 1970s-80s

The acclaimed Expos logo, meanwhile, is the best of not aggravating adamantine enough. An absolute bearing wondered what “elb” stood for; abounding of us struggled to accomplish out the “M.” Officially, the M is for Montreal, the “e” for Expos, the “l” is aloof some evocative appendage from the “e,” the “b” on the appropriate for baseball, and the accomplished shebang is italicized to advance advanced movement. But the Expos logo was absolutely a move aback to the cacographic Gothic letter transpositions of aboriginal baseball caps. It was funky, it was (to Americans) foreign, and it became the avant-garde attribute of bad sports symbolism, a confusing, uninspiring, absurd Logo Gone Wrong.

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